Private? Or not?

I just realized why I haven't really updated the good ole blog this week. I've been going through something rather fabulous.. but didn't want to 'air my laundry' everywhere. But I guess someone in my place should air this particular laundry.

Right?

I'll preface this post by saying I'm no where near perfect (do I really have to say that? haha..) and I mess up on a hourly basis. I've done and said things in my past that I'd love to forget. Good thing God has. I've sought forgiveness for the big and small things in my past. Therefore God has forgiven and forgotten them. All. Can I go back in time and change these things? Nope.. so why bother stewing on them, you know?

Anyway. I have one main goal in my life: to live in God's Will. It doesn't seem like it would be that hard.. but since I'm a sinning human it is hard. Because *I* make it hard. I've found that every single time I've chosen to just give myself over to Him my life is easier. Happier. More joyful. Tribulations? Of course. Trials? Daily. Because I live IN the world. That is what this world is made of.

This week I've chosen to actively have a close relationship with my Lord. What does that mean exactly? Well to me (and what His word says..) it is spending time reading about Him (the bible), talking to Him (praying), showing my thankfulness to Him (worshiping) and putting Him first as much as I humanly can. I've learned a few things this week because of it. I've learned that when I do these things I make better choices. For myself and my family. I spend my time more wisely. Not stuck on the computer all day or in front of the television. I find myself talking to Him during the day, when otherwise I'd be lonely in an empty home.

I stop myself from doing things that my sinful nature is accustom to doing such as gossiping. That's one of those things that most people think they don't do.. but almost all of us do it. And to hear that gossiping (or in the biblical sense, 'backbiting') is one of those sins that really grieves God. Knowing that I was doing something that was actually hurtful to my Lord struck me as just simply disgusting. Never mind those that I've hurt in the past because of my words.. but my Lord was being hurt as well. So He has really (really!!) been working on my heart regarding that aspect.

Another thing He's been working on me this week is learning how to pray for those that my human side would rather forget about. I have multiple people in my life that I'd rather just sweep under the memory rug and never think of them again. But He reminds me that I am no different than each of those people. I need His forgiveness just like they do. I won't mention anyone here because my blog isn't a place to talk about things of that nature. But God knows my heart and He knows my struggles. Thankfully, he loves me anyway. ;)

So there it is.. why I've been quiet here on the blog-front. I'm not afraid to stand up and shout my faith, but I'm also not one to shove it in someones face. I guess it's all about finding that happy balance between the two.

I'll get there, someday.